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PsychoTech_Imhotep
02-03-2008, 03:15 PM
a few months ago I started actually caring about my clothing and bought a bunch of preppy stuff that looks nice, but ive become bored and want to switch it up a little....was thinking something half gothish...maybe start with an earring or two, get some more rugged looking jeans...black t shirts? dunno, maybe im just pissed bc i didnt close on this chic last night, who is into goth shit.

J
02-04-2008, 08:39 PM
changing up your style will not only make you look better but also give you new found confidence with your new look, which speaks louder than the clothes on your back - do it

PsychoTech_Imhotep
02-04-2008, 08:45 PM
yep, you can never forget to factor in the psychological effects of anything you do. good words. I think i want the ear piercings now...can always take earrings out if i dont like em.

impulse
02-05-2008, 02:57 AM
yeah, I used to be an AFC, about 3 years ago. Then the first time I went shopping for "nice" clothes, it gave me a huge boost in confidence. THAT'S what set me on the road to stop being an AFC. Not a divorce, a break up, or a cheating girlfriend. I made changes, liked them, so I made more. That simple.

To quote mystey though, you don't have to appear to belong to her tribe, just one she'd like to visit. So my guess is it wasn't that you weren't goth enough, but too preppy.
Try to calibrate what you wear to the kind of girls you want, and also to your location.

PsychoTech_Imhotep
02-05-2008, 12:19 PM
I see. Im about to eat with that goth chic in a few minutes....think ill take off the green dress shirt, dress shoes , and put on the jeans, chuck taylor shoes...

this is funny.

PsychoTech_Imhotep
02-05-2008, 01:52 PM
hehe she liked my shoes. I am such a nerd. And I love it.

J
02-05-2008, 10:23 PM
a few simple changes can go a long way - glad your having fun with it

PsychoTech_Imhotep
02-08-2008, 03:48 PM
I think ive got too cocky lately. even though sometimes it may come out of nervousness, its still not good. its all about perception of the other party. no matter what you think you communicated, or meant to communicate, that might not be what someone else hears or sees. I need to chill out a little.

impulse
02-08-2008, 04:46 PM
yeah, I think I do too. I think the shave your back opener is proof of that. I used it to amog a guy, but I think it's pretty limited.

PsychoTech_Imhotep
02-08-2008, 05:32 PM
mmmm....I think as long as my actions are genuine, and not purely out of tactic I will be satisfied with myself. All week I feel like ive been someone else. Its weird because even though I got some nice clothes, that just makes me stand out, and its not really my personality. The watch I have is pretty flashy too.

Its like the effect of dressing up, when you wear a suit, you walk differently than if you had on jeans and a T shirt. You naturally try to embody what you look like.

and really, human interaction that will be most fulfilling is genuine interaction, i dont want someone to be turned off bc i seem too cocky.

like yesterday, i was eating with the cute freshman chic, and an old friend of mine walks up and says hey whos this your girlfriend? and I said "heh not yet". she didnt respond at all in any way, hope she didnt take it wrong..

fabulous
02-09-2008, 01:01 PM
I really dont think she will take it a wrong way at all sometimes they dont respond but ill ask her about it maybe or something u know if it didnt make since ill write it again after i wake up lol

taokuei
02-16-2008, 11:23 PM
mmmm....I think as long as my actions are genuine, and not purely out of tactic I will be satisfied with myself. All week I feel like ive been someone else. Its weird because even though I got some nice clothes, that just makes me stand out, and its not really my personality. The watch I have is pretty flashy too.

Its like the effect of dressing up, when you wear a suit, you walk differently than if you had on jeans and a T shirt. You naturally try to embody what you look like.

and really, human interaction that will be most fulfilling is genuine interaction, i dont want someone to be turned off bc i seem too cocky.

like yesterday, i was eating with the cute freshman chic, and an old friend of mine walks up and says hey whos this your girlfriend? and I said "heh not yet". she didnt respond at all in any way, hope she didnt take it wrong..

I'm going to be brutally honest here. In this community, even though we often think we're different from other guys, we have a tendency to try to impress people.

I think that's human nature, and to try to totally supress it would be unnatural. I think that's why guys like us end up like we do. Like the episode of Scrubs where Dr. Cox tells Turk that a good dose of ego is healthy.

I'm not a psychologist. In fact right now I'm a drunk 26yr old trying to act his age. But I'd say you're just now getting to grips with your confidence level and it feels alien to you.

From everything I've read, you seem pretty normal. Even like you could be good at this, and you're a nice guy. Your idea of being genuine is like... you know the UB40 song that goes "searching for answers on higher ground... "

It's like you know what you have to do but you want other people to confirm it for you.

impulse
02-18-2008, 09:51 PM
like yesterday, i was eating with the cute freshman chic, and an old friend of mine walks up and says hey whos this your girlfriend? and I said "heh not yet".

I love that.

quelvar
04-24-2008, 04:09 PM
This is exactly what im thinking of right now: My nev style iŽve thought of something simple that i can use anywhere, like maybe a turtleneck, a blazer-jacket and some nice shoes. IŽve just gotten a gotee and everybody says it looks cool on me!!! And and then take most of my hair off since it looks weird anyway. But more importantly iŽll change the way i look at myself in the nirror, my self-image since its been all fucked up for as long as i can remember, like in "You may think youŽre good looking, but youŽre probably not." or "You may think she likes you, but she probably dont." and "Im a looser and i cant get the girls." i mean ill take those thoughts and think them in reverse. My ex-girlfriend once said to me while we where still dating: "I dont get it. You can get any woman you like, but you are going out with me... why???" I didnŽt believe her because of my bad self-image.
IŽve had atractive women hitting on me without acting on it, because of it. IŽve had lots of opportunities go to waste so i have to make an inner makeover as well.

gta345
01-02-2010, 03:49 PM
All you have to do is wear something you will feel confident in, and that will show through to the girl.

However you go on the other spectrum of the girl your trying to pick up, like you said if you have a really preppy style and your trying to pick up a goth hb, it might be harder,